That Time of the Month
by Blatherskite3
Summary: Ironhide still has much to learn about human females. -2007-


Disclaimer: Do you _really_ think that I _own_ Transformers or any songs in the fic? Or _anything at all_?

Rating: T- just in case. The title is explanatory.

Warnings: OOC(you know, maybe I should just stop putting this. It's always gonna be OOC)

"_Radio broadcasts_"

_A special thanks to _**supergirlprime**! _This was a suggestion of hers! Thanks!_

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**That Time of the Month**

Bumblebee sped into base in his alt mode, tires smoking. The yellow scout slid to a stop, creating black skid marks on the metal floor. His driver's side door opened, and a wild-eyed Sam Witwicky scrambled out. Bumblebee transformed into his bipedal mode, and his gaze darted around.

"No, Mikaela's not here 'Bee. She's at her dad's shop until noon," Sam said. His voice lacked the usual sadness it had when saying Mikaela wasn't nearby. Instead, it sounded almost... relieved?

"_From yesterday, the fear_... _gone away._" Bumblebee sliced two songs together. Sam laughed, a relieved laugh.

"Excuse me, Sam. But... why are you afraid of your mate?" Ironhide asked. Sam had come to just accept that they called Mikaela and himself 'mates'.

"It's... that time of the month! I gotta go do something... _manly_!" Sam bolted off. Bumblebee clicked, shrugged, and followed his distraught charge.

"'That time of the month?' What the slag is that supposed to mean?" Ironhide demanded of no one.

_**xxhope001xx**_

Ironhide had tried blowing things up to null his curiosity. It didn't work. So, he decided to ask someone if they knew what Sam was referring to. And the most logical choice would have to be- not the medic, no- Arcee. Because she's a femme.

"Hey, Arcee," Ironhide motioned the pink femme over. Arcee wheeled her way over, curious.

"Ironhide, what can I do for you?" Arcee smiled. Ironhide grunted. How could he word this? He didn't want to sound... _weak_.

"Sam was going on about nonsense before. You wouldn't happen to, ah, know what 'that time of the month' means. Would you?" Ironhide rubbed the back of his head. Arcee blinked, before she busted out laughing.

"Oh yeah, I know. But I'm not telling you. I wanna see you _squirm_," the femme smiled. A devious smile. Ironhide was afraid.

_**xxhope001xx**_

Ratchet looked up from his work when he heard someone enter his medbay. Annoyed, he hurled a wrench without looking. When there was no sound, Ratchet dared to turn. Ironhide was standing there, shifting from side to side.

"What do you _want_, Ironhide?" Ratchet sighed. The black mech's shuffling grew more anxious, if that was possible.

"Do you happen to know what... the human term 'that time of the month' means?" Ironhide dared to ask. Ratchet slowly shook his helm.

"No. I don't. Why don't you ask someone who knows more about human things?" Ratchet turned back to his work. He heard Ironhide sigh, before wandering off.

Once Ironhide was gone, Ratchet busted out laughing.

_**xxhope001xx**_

Ironhide was _fed up_. _No one_ would answer him! So the black mech finally went to the human who caused this whole mess.

"Sam, what does 'that time of the month' mean?" Ironhide demanded. Sam looked up.

"Oh! It's like, uh, something human girls go through... each month... Gah! Ask Mikaela!" Sam cried. Bumblebee clicked at his charge.

"_My drama, my drama queen_," the scout broadcasted. Sam glared at his guardian, who merely blinked his deep, _innocent_, azure optics.

_**xxhope001xx**_

Ironhide confronted Mikaela when she got to base.

"Mikaela, what does 'that time of the month' mean?" Ironhide asked. Mikaela clucked her tongue.

"Well, Ironhide..."

_**xxhope001xx**_

Ironhide was lugged into the medbay. His logic computer had fritzed. Ratchet merely laughed when he saw his patient.

_**xxhope001xx**_

Mikaela cornered her boyfriend, who cowered in raw fear.

"You didn't have the guts to tell Ironhide what it means? What are you? A six year old?" Mikaela ranted. As she continued, Sam looked at his guardian. Bumblebee transformed, sped over, and his driver's side door popped open.

"_I just wanna live... not... your last day_... _goodbye, goodbye_!" Bumblebee sliced together. Sam clambered in, and the door slammed shut. Mikaela watched them drive away.

"Cowards," she glared.

**Finished**

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Songs used(in order): _From Yesterday_ by 30 Seconds to Mars

_Broken_ by Seether feat. Amy Lee

_Drama Queen_ by Trapt

_It's My Life_ by Bon Jovi

Anything with the word "not" in it

_If Today Was Your Last Day_ by Nickelback

_Photograph_ by Nickelback

_**Click it. CLICK IT!**_

_**Or I'll send Mikaela after you ;)**_


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